Berhari Raya...

A day to celebrate, a day to be happy. Its already the 11th of Syawal but hope I am not too late to share my Hari Raya nuggets with you guys.

Initially, I wasnt that keen to celebrate Hari Raya especially after losing my pregnancy and barely recover from the procedure (D&C) to clean my womb 4 days before. I didnt want to gain unnecessary sympathy. I dont want and do not like that. Pale face..chapped lips..?? Nothing that a good make-up cannot do. Alhamdullilah, I look human enough to face my relatives although the tiredness did show after a few hours.

Since my step-grandma came over to celebrate with us, we didnt go out on the 1st day of Raya like usual. Relatives came over and of course lots of good food to eat. But of course for me, cutting down on the spicy foodies and sweet drinks is a must!! Hubb had to snatch away the white chocolate cornflakes jar from me!!

On the eve of Raya, the kids came over to have their fix of BUNGA API!! Yeayy!!! And of course, the LURVE it!!

Riqie was sleeping at this time and Karl was way too little for this. Wait for next year , little man!!

1st day ended to be a very tiring day since the guests came non-stop. Hubb and I fell asleep close to 1am. Well...there was a 2nd day to venture out you know!! :)

On the 2nd day, we went out as a family. It was a fun day of course where everyone gathered at the first house........my Auntie's place!!

I seriously dont know why Mr Tan posed like that... Sigh.. Anywayzzz, our costume for that day.. cream & pink. I still look tired , didnt I..??

Well.. I did say about make-up, right.. hahahha!!
Ok..not much eye-make-up there but I didnt scare away the kids either.

The Mamarazzis..!! Was taken at Cik Loy's place. "Minta maaf" part got all teary between Mak & her. Hubby pulled me aside and asked, "Why your mum cried so much ha..?"

Tsk...Men!! It's the EMOTION, hunny!!

The nuggets on my Hari Raya with my beloved family.....

And what is Raya without a beautiful family potrait...... :)

..I heart them so much!!....

Gosh...I look so round!! Cant blame me. My appetite really grew after the surgery!! See that tummy..?? Was trying real hard sucking it in, ya know. But my arm is still skinny and boy! That's not so nice, isn't it..??

With all the good foodies, you just cant help it. Mee Soto at both two Aunties' house was mouth-watering. Didnt take a pix of the mee soto from the first house though but I asked Auntie to 'da pao' the sambal kicap for me!! Hahhaha... muka tak tahu malu!!

Well...Raya didnt end here as yet. I still have my eldest sis's & youngest sis's cribz to go to over this weekend. So, watch this space for more snippets!!

Last snippet at 2nd sis's crib last Saturday.

Hmm.... I cant really wait for my own crib ya know and that will only be in ermmm........ 2014...??

Gosh, in the meantime, can I have a child 1st...??

*winx*

Being 29

Alhamdullilah, Allah still give me this chance to breathe in this beautiful world with my loved ones. Although there wasnt any HUGE party or celebration, I am still content with what I have now.

The kids in school sang a birthday song for me when I came in and the staffs decorated my office with the leftover balloons from another child's birthday party the day before. *snigger*

The lovely raspberry chocolate mousse cake from the Hubb. Thanx again, Hubb for that early present in June.. The LV Hampstead!! Heheheeh!!

The sweet smelling scent V.S bath cream and body butter from the babies at work. Hubb went around sniffing me after I used the bath cream.. Hahahahha! And seriously it smells heavenly!!

Being 29... Gosh!

And I thought Im still 25..!!

And dear lovely husband, since you are home early today, can we have MY Seoul Garden dinner tonight...??

Please.

Coz I am so craving for it very badly!!

Those Nimble Fingers

I have always admire my mum for her meticulous handicraft and work. She is very detailed and take pride in her work be it sewing of baju kurung, making kuehs (especially pineapple tarts), sewing curtains and decorating wedding gift trays. My second sister has her traits especially in decorations and sewing.

The very meticulous handcraft work for wedding gift sets by my mum.

So you see, my mum who has no formal education at all, grew up in kampung area till she got married to my dad at 16, I have to take my hat off her for having these extraordinary talents in her. However, my mum is a humble woman and she always insist that she prefer doing all these out of favour and never want to compete with anyone. She did all her orders with sincerity and that's why each time she received orders, she would make sure she did all that neatly and with near perfect results.

And that's when Ummi's Wedding Gifts is born. My mum together with my 2nd sister collaborate with each other and worked hard to create these lovely wedding gifts sets. My mum and my step-dad would deliver the items at the bride's/groom's doorsteps and collect back all the dulang/trays 1 day after the wedding. See? We make it simple for the bride & groom! :)

All these for only $250/-.

Insya Allah, @ Ummi's, we make every wedding with the perfect gifts.

Do check out dollhouse.cribz for more collections yeah!!

As yours truly (hehe!!), I do have my own interest as well. Besides bridal make-up and makeovers, I love creating my own personal stuffs. There was once when I received a request to make baby's hairband for a fren. I did one for her and that was it. It was recently again that I received another request to create hairbands and kufi hats for another fren who had just gave birth. And being me, I do not like something which chances are, you will see another person wearing the same thing along the streets. Even if it meant for babies, I want it to look exlusive!! That's when I came up with "one of each design" concept.

Crochet flowers are made personally by me. As requested I will fix the colours accordingly as per request by individual customers. You know how we ladies sometimes can get finicky over colours and designs. For examples, wanting the same design of bag but in two different colours..??

I took that into consideration *winx!* and will prepare each hat/hairband only by request so your baby or little girls will be wearing her own exclusive hat and hairband!

The different colours of crochet flowers.

Each flower is created differently like the one shown above.

Eg: rounded edge-SAKURA and pointed edge-IXORA. And again, customers are free to choose the type of flower they prefer.

:)

Below are all the different designs I came up with for customers to choose from. But of course, YOU can tell me what you prefer from the colour to the design! See...?? I am being very considerate..... hehehehhe!!!

This got to be my personal favourite. Unfortunately I have to wait very much longer before I can put this on on my own baby....

:)

So if you are interested to beautify your little babes and girls, do drop me a comment yah. It will be a pleasure for me to serve you.

Happy looking!!

A Very Sad Story

Thursday, 02 September 2010, 07:00am

I reached work that morning despite the incessant sharp pain in my tummy that I was feeling since in the bus. The pain got so bad that I had to grip the edge of my skirt tightly. I might have looked a fright with my face controlling the pain. The truth is, it was worst than menstrual cramps. I tried to sleep in the bus trying to ignore the pain. It didnt help, obviously. Bus rides are always bumpy, isnt it..??

By the time I reached the centre, the pain was still lingering around, this time just below my belly button. I tried to keep a smiling face welcoming the kids and even had to carry a 2 year old girl who just enrolled in the centre. My body bent awkwardly when I carried her. Couldnt help it, I was in pain, remember...??

10:15am

The pain subsided a little and coincidentally, I was preparing the school's syllabus for the next three months. I had written a status in my Facebook saying that "....... having this impending sharp pain in my tummy since morning..."

My sister saw the post and urged me to have it checked coz through her experience, pain in the tummy during early pregnancy might be a sign of miscarriage. I have to admit listening to that, it gave me the creeps. I began to divert my thought by saying, "Im okay already..." "Maybe Im feeling constipated.."blah blah blah......

My sister again told me to go just in case anything bad happen. I was still contemplating coz, I still have tons of paperwork to complete. But Soya Bean's well-being over-powered everything.

01:45pm

I had arranged a prior appointment with the gynae Dr A.P Venkat from NUH on the 20th Sept. However, that day, I called again on an emergency basis and I thanked my lucky stars that Dr A asked me to come down immediately since Im having this pain. I told them to give me an hour to reach there. I still remember telling my staff before I left saying, "Hopefully everything is fine..." But in actual fact, I was already having a bad feeling.

02:30pm

I reached Ruby Clinic @ NUH and frankly speaking I got so lost. Hubb was on 24hr duty and my sister was down with fever. Mum couldnt meet me as she was looking after Riqie. After I was done with the registration, a staff nurse 'interviewed' me asking me more questions about the pain Im having. She kept assuring me that its normal to have cramps at the early stage. What she didnt know was the "knife-in-the-tummy-like-kena-stab" kinda pain I was feeling. I put up a brave front and kept assuring myself that "everything is going to be fine" mantra.

03:05pm

I was called in the Dr A's room and she was a pleasant lady who again asked me questions and told me that she needed to do a scan to find out what exactly is happening in my tummy. Her hunch was that, maybe the foetus was not in the right position thus, the pain. I was sent out again to wait until another staff nurse called me and led me to the scanning room. I was told to remove my panties but kept my skirt on. I was rather apprehensive actually when she told me to lie down and lifted up my skirt. She quickly placed a blanket over me, to my relief. Then, the waiting game starts. I might have been waiting on that bed for a good 5 minutes or more. I even managed to fantasise of seeing Soya Bean's heartbeat...Or maybe even a twin.......

Approx.03:10pm

Dr A came in and she took this long alien thingy. Gosh...so this is the vaginal scan rod that people are talking about. I tried to relax when the procedure was going on. I took a peek at the screen and saw a palm-sized sac but it was empty. The first question Dr A asked was whether I had fall or ever knocked onto something. I said "No" to both. She then asked whether I have been drinking too much sweet drinks. That's when I admit, I have been drinking Lemon Tea almost everyday. Dr A then explained that maybe due to that, the embryo didnt grow well and might have stopped developin aka embryonic death. The disappearance of the foetus might be due to that it had stopped developing. And that maybe is the reason why I never gain weight nor had any baby bump.

Her statement.."This pregnancy doesnt look good.........This is a miscarriage. Im sorry to tell you this.."

I replied, "Its okay" and even managed a smile when I got down the bed and dressed up. It was only when I went to the waiting room and realising that no one was there to share my sorrow, the reality sinked in. "Miscarriage.......baby no more.....death"

I couldnt controlled my tears and sat on the chair all alone, was at lost, not knowing what to do. The first thing I did was to text Hubb saying, "Baby no more!!" I sent the same text to my sister....bestie and colleagues. Bestie called, my sister called too but I was already crying that I rejected their calls.

When I was called in to Dr A's room again, that's when I wept and wept when I saw all the different pictures of babies displayed at her notice board. Cant blame me, I was so lost! She waited for me to calm down before explaining to me that she had to do a procedure of cleaning up my womb. Another bombshell. Making a hole in my uterus..?? It gave me the shudders. However, she assured me that this is a natural procedure. I might have to wait at least for another 3-4 months before Hubb and I can try for another child again.

My sister made her way down to NUH to fetch me and assured me that I shouldnt get too stress up. Take it as a test from Allah. It felt good to have someone as a shoulder to cry on. When we got home, mum was completely confused how the foetus could just go 'missing' like that. I didnt bleed like how a normal miscarriage might have been and I didnt even know that I lost my baby.

Hubb was equally sad and confused. He kept asking how come the Doctor didnt do anything to save the foetus. However that night after his prayers, he came to the room and told me.."When I recite the selawat Nabi, I realised that Nabi himself had lost his children before. And he cried when his daughter died. I have to be strong too...." My floodgate almost break loose.

It is definitely not an easy task for us to forget and move on. Hubb and I had high hopes and even had a name for the baby if it is a boy. Tomorrow is the day, I am going for my D&C surgery. I admit I feel scared. Hari Raya this year wont be the same as I dont have anything to look forward to. Maybe when people are dressing up prettily to go jalan2x, I might have been bed-ridden at home.

I just hope that, no matter how small Soya Bean was in me before, I am glad I can at least experienced the littlest moment when it was growing in me for those few weeks. Allah took him/her from us to test our faith. Insya Allah, Hubb's and my faith to Allah will never wither.

Soya Bean.......Do wait for Mama, wherever you are.

*hugz*

What Happen.......

Missed Miscarriage: Women can experience a miscarriage without knowing it. A missed miscarriage is when embryonic death has occurred but there is not any expulsion of the embryo. It is not known why this occurs. Signs of this would be a loss of pregnancy symptoms and the absence of fetal heart tones found on an ultrasound.



Its a hard reality for me to accept but at the same time I am glad that I found out earlier.

My dear soya bean, I know you are in a better place now. Ameen.